“I think I just disappeared out of 2020 for a second” I said with a laugh as I placed the new face mask given to me by the Starbucks employee safely over my nose and mouth. There has to be some secret eject button in our brain that just stops computing life when it feels like too much. Maybe it was the helicopters nearing my house due to a car chase gone afoot. Maybe it’s the spiking numbers of Coronavirus in America. Maybe it was the final episode of Little Fires Everywhere. Whatever it was, I ejected from 2020 long enough to leisurely pop into Starbucks to pick up my mobile order, totally forgetting to put on a mask. For someone living in Los Angeles where they’ve been mandatory for months now, that was CRAZY.

Each one of our journeys through this pandemic has had varying levels of difficulty. I know we’ve all had that same moment of “eject”, wanting to fast forward to when it’s all better, or rewind back to when facemasks and temperature checks weren’t in our daily vocab and our google search history didn’t have “Coronavirus” searched 20 different ways. But here we find ourselves in this very unique and challenging time of history. And as everything has come to a virtual halt, our interactions with the people we live with is at an all time high.

If you have roommates, that first month was probably the most intense. Suddenly, the roommate you only passed in the kitchen at breakfast is now at home all the time, alongside you every day, all day. Now, after several months, we’ve gotten into a certain rhythm, but a new challenge has come. Before, everyone was at home, now, some people have gone back to work while others are still at home. More social activities have opened up and new different levels of comfortability regarding social distancing. So how do we continue to navigate these new norms? Here are a few tips I’ve gathered from people just like us:

Keep the conversations going, especially if some of your roommates are going back to work. You won’t agree on everything, but keep communicating through what you feel comfortable with regarding social distancing.
When hard conversations need to happen, seek to understand and actively listen. Most times the intention is not bad and everyone has a side to the story. Continue to build trust equity by keeping an open mind and heart.
Set a schedule for grooming and cleaning. A shower schedule if multiple people use the same one, sanitizing the kitchen counters etc.

Create a balanced routine of alone time and activities with your roommates. If you share a room, work out a schedule with your roommate that allows you both some time to be alone in the room.

Schedule some fun in the calendar! Make it Fancy Friday where you all dress up like you’re going out and drink wine (or tea) together.

The most important thing to know is that the only person you can really be responsible for is you, so lead by example. Be intentional with working on your mental health during this time. Boundaries by Henry Cloud is a great book to read, especially during this time of lockdown. And of course, anything by Brene Brown. If reading isn’t your thing, check out her podcast, “Unlocking Us.” Take advantage of this slowed down time to dig into some of your own issues. The changes that your roommates might see in you could spark their own desire to change themselves.

5 Tips on Navigating Roommates During Coronavirus